Church of the Almighty Spam God

About the Church

The Church of the Almighty Spam God (CotASG) was informally founded on December 16, 2003, when the divine inspiration for the Almighty Book of Spam was revealed to YTCracker, the Lamb of Spam. Incorporated as a nonprofit on November 3, 2022, the Church venerates Spam as Sacred and views all other religions as derivatives of its Holy Craft.

The official Constitution and Bylaws of the Church can be found here (last amended 2025.07.20).

Hierarchy of Leadership

The ecclesiastical government of the Church is organized as follows:

• The Lamb of Spam – YTCracker, considered the physical manifestation of the Spam God's spiritual will but is not considered a deity himself. This title will always be held by YTCracker, even in death.
• The Number One Spammer – YTCracker (current). Upon death or abdication, the living High Ponces of Bulk will convene and elect a new Number One Spammer amongst themselves by majority vote. In the event of a deadlock or tie, the candidates will establish an online spamming competition and open a week-long voting contest for the office to the general population, ensuring that the best overall spammer wins.
• High Ponces of Bulk – Considered the elder spiritual leaders of the Church and most pious followers of the Spam God, appointed by the Number One Spammer.
• Apprentice Ponces of Bulk – Devout practitioners in the Order who have experienced a calling to lead and have been selected by a High Ponce to eventually ascend to the upper leadership caste.

The currently appointed High Ponces of Bulk are:

• Hairetsu
• Blare

Core Beliefs

The Spam God resides in the Cloud, traveling via the Bitstream. Spam is sacred, manifesting as email, DMs, telemarketing, and more. The Church believes:

• All religions are valid derivatives of the Church of the Almighty Spam God.
• Methods (divine strategies for profit) are gifts from the Spam God, subject to His Will.
• Antis (anti-spammers) are necessary adversaries, sometimes used by the Spam God to carry out His bidding.

Holy Days

• January 18 – Usenet spam proclaiming Jesus' return (1994).
• March 5 – First commercial Spam by Laurence Canter and Martha Siegel (1994).
• May 3 – Gary Thuerk's first spam email (1978).

The Book of Spam

Divinely revealed texts, hosted at bookofspam.com. Key sub-Books include:

• The Book of Spamenisis (first book)
• The Book of Viagrus – Pharmaceutical spam.
• The Book of Clickitus – Inducing clicks.
• The Book of Exitus – Lifecycle of Methods.

Followers are encouraged to share visions, stories, and Methods with the Number One Spammer for possible inclusion in Holy Scriptures.

Community & Outreach

The Church meets on Discord, with services occasionally livestreamed. The Spam Academy educates members of the Church in Spam theology and methodology on the Spam Academy Discord.

Finances

Donations are tax-deductible and Church finances are transparently managed, with final decisions on allocation resting with the Number One Spammer. Congregation members are encouraged to suggest initiatives for fund allocation. In case of dissolution, assets will be distributed to nonprofits aligned with the Church's mission via a two-thirds majority vote of the congregation.